What is the ugliest word?
There really is a monster in the hallway. Be careful. Your bedroom door will open, throwing light on your face. You’ll feign sleep. The door will close behind your father, and darkness will descend.
What if the person you love most in the world loves you too much, in a way you know is wrong? How do you navigate childhood? What kind of person do you become?
The Ugly Truth
One of every 4 human beings on earth has been sexually abused in childhood. Sometimes it’s priests and scout masters, but a large percentage of child sexual abuse is committed by parents.
Child rape at the hand of a parent is so taboo that victims feel debilitating shame and rarely speak up. We are speaking up!
The Book
The Ugliest Word tells the story of a little girl named Lark, whose father is molesting her. An aspiring writer and artist, Lark’s spunk and creativity buoy her as the abuse progresses.
Lacking other confidantes, Lark befriends Glassman, a mysterious character who collects glass bottles from the alley and leaves special gifts at a loose board in Lark’s fence.
As a grown woman, Lark copes with her past abuse by talking on an international phone conference line for incest victims. Her healing is disrupted when she receives word that her father is dying.
Maybe he’ll apologize. A death-bed confession. Maybe she’ll forgive him.
But maybe she won’t.
Excerpt from Chapter 2
Through the hole in the alley fence, an eye peeks into the yard, blinks and withdraws. Lark’s father, Scully, stops raking and glances at the fence just after the eye disappears, but he’s sure he saw something.
“Hush a minute. Shhh!” he whispers. A pause, then, “Hear that?”
Five-year-old Lark shakes her head silently.
“When you don’t hear anything, that’s Glassman,” Scully says.
Lark covers her ears. “I don’t wanna hear Glassman.”
“You won’t hear him.”
“Then how do you know when he’s there?”
“You never know when he’s there, so it seems like he’s always there.”
Lark’s pupils are huge. “Maybe he is.”
My vision is to encourage ongoing public conversation about this ubiquitous atrocity, childhood incest. We must talk about it, learn to recognize it, report it, and prevent it.
— Annie Margis
Author and filmmaker Annie Margis is a childhood incest victim working to give millions of victims a voice by wiping out the taboo against talking about incest. In 2012, with the support of a cadre of volunteers, she created a helpline where adult victims from around the world connect with fellow survivors and share their stories. Having heard thousands of tragic personal histories, Annie is a front-line expert on the life-long impact of childhood incest.
Resources
Do You Need Help Now?
If you or someone you love is currently experiencing emotional or physical trauma from present or past sexual abuse, please reach out for help.
You are not alone.
There are safe people and places you can turn to.
Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a RAINN affiliate organization that provides services in your area.
Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) website.
Click here to view The Ugliest Word’s Fact Sheet on childhood incest.